Monday, October 29, 2012

Yummy - Indifiction Workshop Edition 2

Indifiction Workshop is a story writing workshop for bloggers interested in fiction. This was initiated by 'The Fool' who blogs at http://luciferhouseinc.blogspot.in and C.Suresh who blogs at http://jambudweepam.blogspot.in

Detailed plot will be given. Everyone has to tell the story using their own narrative style. Different narrative styles will be evaluated by fellow participants and judges.

The plot for the first exercise as part of the same was authored by Sandeep Nair who blogs at http://www.sandyspeak.com/. Link to the plot: http://indifictionworkshop.blogspot.in/2012/10/exercise-for-edition-2.html

My version of the plot:

Story Title: Yummy

Story:

The cacophony of voices spewing filth and abuse, blended with the clanking sounds of mugs and plates, permeate the entire expanse of the dining area. Loud thuds from overturning tables and falling men rise from a corner. Perhaps a brawl is brewing up again.

Sounds! Extremely loud sounds!

They reach my ears and transform almost instantaneously into nothingness. Some nerves have become totally impermeable now.

A spoon of the tasteless gravy reaches my numb taste buds, and a drop spills on my lap. I watch the red oil spreading slowly, causing a stain on my orange robe.

Orange! Sheryl’s favourite colour! A cringe forms on my face as a memory of the warmth I used to feel in her arms enfolds me. Ironically she was in her favourite orange flowered frock when I had found her that night at the street corner. The stain reminds me of her bleeding stab wounds and the way she had clung to me, fighting as best as she could to delay the closing of her eyelids .Perhaps she knew they would never open again.

The uniform had been given to me on my first day here at the Arlington State Penitentiary. Now, I have thinned down to almost half its size and it is clinging on loosely to my frail body. I am sitting alone on the dark green wooden bench that feels cold. As usual there is no one by my side. They are ruthless convicts. Yet, they are terrified of some things in life. Like AIDS.

Continue reading at http://indifictionworkshop.blogspot.in/2012/10/yummy.html

23 comments:

  1. OMG Jaish, this is something unexpected for that title. Your writing is evolving. Good one girl.

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    1. Thanks FiF! Credit goes to Sandy for the plot

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  2. What a wonderful story... so captivating! Good one! All the best! :)

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  3. It is excellent... The way you had narrated the story showing the mixed feelings of Bruce is a feast to the readers... great story...

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  4. Oh my goodness, I can't believe how well you took it from one level to the next!

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  5. I loved it Jaish! Especially the significance of the title! :)

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    1. Loved yours too...Just finished reading halfway...Loved the twists in there

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  6. That's really wonderful. Your writing is layering up :D

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    1. Thank you Jas. I am on cloud nine reading such nice words of encouragement!

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  7. Superbly written Jaish :)

    I was so engrossed in it that I just did not want it to end.....!!

    You seriously have a knack of narrating tales.

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  8. Loved your story Jaish. The narration, the style, everything is good. I usually don't read too many short stories or fiction on blogs, but yours was an exception. :)

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    1. Oh ! That's awesome Zephyr . Thanks a ton for reading the story . That comment made my day :)

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  9. Brilliant Jaish. The writing the plot all exceptional. And the title ....:) As latha said you have taken fiction writing to an altogether different level

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    1. Thank you Bhagyashree. As I mentioned earlier the credit for the plot goes to Sandy . :)

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  10. Some like in Dark, with a tint of Orange, it seems!

    This story is so twisted that it can hide in the shadow of a Double Helix! A mystery hidden in a riddle wrapped in a conundrum.

    The initial rush of words slowed down into a cascade of chaos.

    Intersting, Jayashree, interesting!

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  11. ah ha , what a lovely story jaish

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