Friday, November 16, 2012

Flash Fiction(100) - Subdued


His piercing gaze sent a horrifying shiver down her spine. She realized what a grave mistake she had done of venturing alone to the isolated place.  Taking two steps backwards, she turned around and started to flee. In a flash, she felt his burly arms on her back.  Before she could react she was pushed to the ground, and he landed on top of her.  Her screams that pierced through the silence of the surroundings, transformed into whimpers and slowly died as he subdued her under his brutal force.The vultures devoured the zebra carcass after the tiger was done.

102 comments:

  1. Mmm! Zee Cinema turns Discovery Channel? :)

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  2. Nice. I thought it was a typical boy-girl story. Nice twist :)

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  3. well nice, apt.. especially in a flash fiction writing it is of utmost importance to describe everything which the writer wants to tell and similarly its of utmost important to keep readers in mind.
    keep it up and keep writing

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  4. Hahaha..nice twist at the end..But the inner meaning, was sad..good one Jaish :)

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    Replies
    1. The inner meaning stuck me when I typed the last line FIF! Sad Yes!

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  5. ohhhh hmmm :) I love watching wildlife programmes ..


    Bikram's

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    Replies
    1. Me too Bikram and my son is crazy about them!

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  6. Interesting twist, although it was sad.
    Good writing :)

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  7. You did it again! Great writing, Jaish.

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  8. Good one
    http://ajstates.blogspot.com

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  9. short, sharp, to the point but very effective! Keep it up1

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  10. I am in aww. Wonderful writing. Unexpected twist! You know I read your story on Google reader, but I couldn't resist from coming here and commenting.

    My world, my thoughts, my musings...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you sooooooooo much Upasana...Thanks for commenting also :)

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  11. *points at all the comments above* what they said :)

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  12. Oh wow! Now that was an appealing piece :) Brilliantly done.

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  13. Awesome.. Gipping story in 100 words & super twist at the end.

    Sharing on Twitter...

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  14. oops.. very interesting twist. Loved this FF

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  15. Superb. Loved the style of writing.Just 100 words and you get everything you expect in a 100 pages novel - suspence, emotion, twist and message.

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  16. That's a good one!! Never expected this twist! :D

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  17. Haha! What a twist in the end. Superb, Jaish. :)

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  18. This one is good one. I was like: "Oh no!", then "Oho!"..... hahahaha ;) :)

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  19. hmhm..... Well, I second Bikram's comment. He just said what was in my mind. :)

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  20. Sex is the most basic instinct of all organisms after survival (food and water). Your story reminded me of another such one written by a famous Malayalam writer, Punathil Kunjabdullah. The only difference is the ending. In his story, the woman returns to the man again yearning to be smothered under him. Well, he wrote a few decades ago. One can argue about male chauvinism, patriarchy... etc. Today's world is indeed different. But can we blame men alone for that? That's my question.

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    Replies
    1. But unlike animals, humans are expected to be in control of that instinct. Thats y rapists are called animals , arent they? Have not heard of that author before though I learnt Malayalam all the way till my 7th class . Whats the name of the book? Thanks for stepping in Matheikal.

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  21. Delicious...Loved the way the story concluded Awesome twist♥

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  22. This was a nice one. Reminded me of olden days movies when censor board was stricter and public more conservative, they would show a lion hunting down a deer as a metaphor for a rape scene. You have turned the concept on its head.

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    1. Oh yeah, I remember those. And then they would show the girl sitting and weeping on the bed while the villain would most likely be smoking a cigarette or something :D

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  23. Jaishree it is such a pleasure to read the unexpected twists you bring out in your stories:) Just lovely!

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  24. Love the ending..I have always maintained that flash fictions are tricky.. but you carried it out with utmost perfection.. Loved it :)

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  25. That was crisp Jaish! animals are preyed upon to satiate hungerbut women to satisfy the lust. That was a sharp twist.

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  26. Brilliant twist Jaish! Where do you get these prompts from? Nicely done!

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    Replies
    1. :D thanks Deepa . This one was from my kiddo's addiction towards fauna :)

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  27. wow Jaish! superb! i absolutely love flash fictions... and this one is so crisp n twisty :P

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  28. The literal meaning never struck me at first, strangely. The meaning inside is very, very chilling and sad indeed. Amazing piece!

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  29. Hi jaishree,

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    Look forward to your answers

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  32. wonderful twist that ever i seen
    keep blogging dear.

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  34. Wonderful 55 fiction as usual. You have the knack of making it really interesting and absorbing. Nice surprise twist at the end and the build up to it was awesome too. :)

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  37. Aha! Beautifully written! It came as a brilliant twist; t'was nicely executed. :)

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  38. Perfect choice of words...Nice

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  39. Well well well, a different twist :)

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  40. good post...interesting ....GOD LOVE U

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  41. Hi Jaish Where are you? Its been more than 2 weeks now since you posted anything.All well? Couldn't find your email id or would have mailed you.

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  42. Wow!! That was a good one!!!
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  44. Hey Jaish, where have you been? Not seeing you anywhere..hope all is well with you. Take care.

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  46. I had missed reading this. Done now and excellent it is. :) BTW where have u disappeared?? Vacation?

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  49. Hey Jaish.. long time no see. :) Hope to see you soon and waiting to read your work very soon. :)

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  50. this was a great read.... nice twist :-)

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