Sunday, January 6, 2013

And the world was silent again

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 35; the thirty-fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "...and the world was silent again"
"No, Shekar, No!"  Her tremorous voice jolts me out of my slumber.It is pitch dark and very silent.

For a moment, a series of images flashing her smiling face accompanied by the gurgle of her laughter dance  all around me.

Then I remember . That night when I had to leave her behind. The absolute terror in those eyes! The eyes that were pleading with me. I had no choice.

"Shekar, Promise me! Promise me that you'll always be with me." The day I proposed, she had whispered these words as she buried her head in my chest and wrapped her arms tightly around me.

 Panic engulfs me. I must go back to her.

I rush outside. The moment I step out, a familiar smell wafts through the air. Roses! The roses in her perfume!Then I hear that gurgle again.

I turn around and I see her, dressed in her favorite floral skirt and pink shirt. Her features seem to be accentuated by those flowers in her hair.

Her eyes are locked in mine as she walks towards me.

"Shwe..."

 "Shhh" She brings her fingers to my lips and does not allow me to complete.Gently she holds my hands in hers. "Lets go" she says softly.

The mourners and the priest did what they had to do and the world was silent again.
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Introduced By: C.Suresh, Participation Count: 6

85 comments:

  1. Oh! That blew me away!! very very well written!!

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  2. That is a haunting one.. excellent narrative... Read it twice to get it.. ATB for BAT :)

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  3. Ohh , GO where , she took him with herself .. very well written a bit spooky in the end ..

    I could picturise it alll

    Bikram's

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    1. Thanks Bikram....He himself died first, thats what I was trying to say :)

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  4. A haunting write up well described, Jayshree!

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  5. Where did they go?! Nice narrative..and yes it is a spooky end!!! I've goosebumps!! :)

    All the very best for BAT, Jaish.

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    1. Initially I thought of adding a line like 'eternal sleep' but then leaving it seemed better :)

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  6. Very nice post Jaish. All the best for BAT 35

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  7. The mourners and the priest did what they had to do and I had goosebumps :)

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    1. :) Thanks Suresh....I know I have missed some of your posts...Will catch up soon...

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  8. Flash fiction with a twist and impact in shortness... Well written.

    Missed your entry at IFW last time out, hope all is well with you :) Happy New Year and ATB for BAT!

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    1. Thanks Leo...All is well, was too busy with no access to internet....In fact I had written two pages for that IFW edition but could not complete... :( Happy New Year to you too

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  9. Oh! You seem to have a good connection with ghosts and spirits, How else you write with such honesty. On a serious note, terrific, reminds me of your Dove Entry. :)

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    1. Oh Oh!! ha ha....Actually I am terrified of spooky stories and horror movies...Seriously! :)

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  10. Hi Jaish,

    Good going, this looked like a F55 in long form. Reminds me of the movie 'Talaash'. Good take on the prompt. :)

    Regards

    Jay
    My Blog | My FB Page

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    1. Yet to see that one...Thanks for stepping in Jay

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  11. Ohh .. Brilliant Jaish... Good to see you back after two editions ...

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  12. Very nice Jaish. Good job with the prompt.

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  13. KICKASSS.. NEEDLESS TO SAY YOU ARE A FAB WRITER.... :) I LOVEDDD IT

    ATB FOR BAT

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    1. Your comment put me on cloud nine, Thanks :)

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  14. Very poignant,powerful & compact--wow!

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  15. Well written, but a bit spooky towards the end!

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  16. Brilliantly written! Quite a haunting read :)

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  17. what a pleasure to read u again...and with a difference !

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    1. Thanks Alka...Missed out some of your terrific poetry...Need to catch up

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  18. I did not see that coming (The mourners and the priest did what they had to do and the world was silent again.) I don't have words to appreciate....Absolutely mind-blowing...

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  19. Terrific ending..quite unexpected Jaish. Brilliantly written!

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  20. brilliant ! abs brilliant ! All the very best !

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    1. Thanks TTT....Your post on Resolutions had me smiling for some time ... :)

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  21. have a nice day.. :) I don't have words to appreciate

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  22. wonderful, Jaish! I myself would not know what to write for such a prompt but you nailed it!

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  23. Very well written, Jaish. Spooky....it was honestly difficult to add that line in a story this tine, and you did that effortlessly. Kudos..Good to have you back in BAT! All the best!!!

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    1. Thanks Panchali di , urs was simy suerb

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  24. amazing approach to the topic ! very well written :)

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  25. That was brilliant writing again, Jaish. I have to confess I had to read it twice to get it. :D

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  26. wow! the last sentence changed the whole course. Good one Jaya!

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  27. Nice. As Suresh says you have a way with language and it comes out strongly in this kind of flash fiction.

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    1. Thanks TF :) Glad to know that you liked the way it has come out.

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  28. Wow. Aweosme writing. They continue to live in their world, at least :-)

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  29. Wow.. that was brilliantly written. The last line gave me goosebump. Well done! :)

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  30. The story is in the reader's mind. You kindled the thought process ... and in the silence that followed the story gets completed.

    Awesome!

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  31. Wow Jaish.. you know how to tell a powerful story. Very little words convey so much meaning. And you have portrayed the emotions so beautifully that they melt the heart of the reader. Was absolutely touched by this story. :)

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  32. Initially I was confused; read twice and enjoyed - not the sad end , but overall story!

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  33. Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I still remember your story about that actor (murder mystery) ....Thanks for stepping in TSW

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  34. Very nice. and with impact. I always look forward to reading your posts.

    PS: Sorry, I could not make it here before the voting cutoff.

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  35. lovely, powerful and heart wrenching!!!


    http://www.myunfinishedlife.com/

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  36. verrrrrrry well written Jaysh.. you have conveyed a plethora of emotions - love, haunt, spirits all in a veryyyyy short post!

    Do visit my post "Oblivion"! Would love to see you by! *cheers*

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    1. Thank you Kappu... Will surely visit!

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