Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Wish (Flash 55 Fiction)

She was excitedly curious. He would definitely make her birthday special. The sharp pain on her wrists shook her awake. The ropes! It was dark; silent. “God, Let him find me“ she prayed aloud fervently. Light slapped her face. Her kidnapper stood at the doorway with a menacing smile. “Birthday wish granted sweetheart”, he smirked.

This is an attempt as part of the Flash 55 exercise on Write Tribe

43 comments:

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    1. The theme was 'mystery and love ' :)

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  2. Has making of 'A Stockholm Syndrome'unless it was a nightmare:)

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    1. Hi Rahul
      thanks for introducing the concept to me . I have heard of Stockholm syndrome conditions but did not know it's name. Well that's a different angle :)

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  3. Nice.. something different. My interpretation was this wasnt about wishing for the kidnapper to come back but for her saviour to arrive. Was I right?

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    1. Hi Roshan

      she is expecting her lover but gets kidnapped . She realizes that the kidnapper is the lover himself . This is how I thought but I guess it was not clear :)

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    1. Thanks Suresh :) the topic was mystery and love and somehow I could not think of anything light ha ha

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  5. Nice one, Jaishree! Waiting for your article on the 3rd sense of the human body :)

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    1. Thank you so much Visual. The last date for the exercise was yesterday and so had to publish it . Will come up with the 3rd installment soon

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  6. Jaishree this an interesting story narrated briefly.

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  7. Oh! That was little scary, well written though.

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    1. Thanks me . Would love to know how you interpreted it too . This seems to have been interpreted in many ways :)

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  9. That was a crisp one, jaish! Dark...gripping. Enjoyed reading!

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    1. As mentioned in a comment above 'the girl waiting to meet her lover gets kidnapped . She realizes in the end that the kidnapper is the lover himself ' in trying to fit in the 55 format I guess I did not make it very clear :)

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  11. excitedly curious ? - Never heard this kind of usage before. Nice intriguing story though I did not get what exactly happened?

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    1. Hi hi Actually I have also not heard but I thought it was grammatically correct :) check my responses to Fif or Roshan TF . That was my version but I am seeing various interpretations and that's making it interesting :)

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  12. I was thinking of a father and daughter scenario.... Guess my perspective was wrong too....

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    1. Father/daughter ? A way different but interesting perspective Danny :)

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  13. I hoped his boyfriend would free her! Surprised at the end :)

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  14. That was a rather different end. I mean the start took us all on a different ride only to watch a scary end..

    Richa

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  15. "Light slapped her face",a good allusion to the truth of her 'saviour'. Good going Jaish.

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  16. So the lover turns torturer?! That's tragic! A great first attempt though, Jaish!

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    1. Thanks Roshni :) I have done a couple of 55 Fiction before but when it comes to writing for a competition or a prompt I seem to get stuck! :)

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  17. Thrilling tale of mystery and love. Naturally gifted you are:)

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  18. Well she was in a dream thinking about the ropes and finally her husband wished her? Very nice :-)

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    1. Aah! Now thats a whole new way of looking at it ! :D

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  19. I would say that's the shortest scary story, but then there's Monday.

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  20. Wow. Dark fiction, Jaish! Read through the comments, the story sure has the potential of multiple interpretations :D

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    1. I realized that only after reading the comments Deepa

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  21. Ohh, nice. Love the intrigue and the suspense.

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  22. Was wondering if the kidnapper had accosted and defeated her lover and was about to imprison him with her till I read your comment. That put a completely different spin on the story. Either way, really enjoyed your dark and sinister flash fiction.

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  23. Oh my!! :o

    'Light slapped her face.' This sentence itself has a little irony hidden in it. Nice spin, man. Enjoyed it. :D

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